The Blair Wife Project: Venue Search (Part 1)

Cate & Cody have officially started the hunt for the perfect venue!  I have loved hearing their thoughts after each visit, and she's going to start sharing their search here with you!

First off- full disclosure - I have no idea what I'm doing.

And not in a "I want to be relatable and adorably self-deprecating" way, but a "I'm the lady-child who gets invited to parties and constantly misses (forgets) the unspoken rules of event-ing".

(C&C at our wedding August 2014)

I often experience "oh...yeah" moments at parties. For example, when you go to Easter and in the car ride over you find yourself suddenly being judged -harshly- by the cute deviled egg chicken appetizer your soon to be sister-in-law hand made to contribute because she awesome. Or you have friends over and open your cabinets to find all you have to offer is Stop&Shop cookies and the four neglected mini bags left over from the variety chip pack your fiancé bought 6 months ago. Yup. That's this girl. Right here. 

I've just never been a "party" person. I don't know how to plan them. No clue how to guesstimate the food-to-person ratio. I threw a surprise party once and looking back it was  pretty terrible (sorry babe). I often just bring a bottle of wine (for myself) and when I remember it's polite to be polite, (slightly, begrudgedly) offer to share.  Over the years I've advanced and tried to make appetizers and such but to be completely honest, it's really all thanks to Cody who, the day before or day of the event, asks if we are supposed to bring something. 

I am also - again, being transparent here- incredibly anxious in party settings. This will probably surprise my family, mostly, but for the majority of every party I've gone to for the last 7 years, I've spent at least 60% of it trying to engage like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING while I'm screaming internally.

I just feel like an idiot 99% of the time. I've gotten better at dealing with it. Cody is really good with me and can tell when I need a break. The best explanation I've come up with is that I feel this unspoken pressure to be the extrovert that was so effortless when I was 8 years old.  So for all you brides who are both excited and terrified to plan their wedding, I totally get it.

So now faced with the daunting task of not just attending but planning the biggest party of my life, yes, I'm a little nervous. Clueless. It is the first and last party of its kind that I plan to have. Once of a lifetime. One shot. It feels a bit like that Eminem song.

I'm breaking our venue hunt into multiple posts because we are seeing a ton of places. Like I said, no idea what I'm doing. The venue sets the tone for the type of wedding you have (or so I'm told). And it makes sense. Ambiance is important. Flow is important. Themes are important. It's a lot like a haunted house.

The first thing we did was sit down and figure out a theme. I have no idea if it's a real thing but we somehow came up with "industrial-minimalist".  Cody kept saying rustic for a while but I think it was a bit like when a baby learns his first word and tries to impress the world by repeating it 100 times. S'cute.

(In case anyone is wondering - this is what pinterest's version of "industrial-minimalist")

We both want our wedding to be nontraditional, so it makes sense for our venue to be a bit on the unique side. We love the mix of wood and metal interiors. Big windows. High ceilings. String lights. Minimal decor. These aren’t must haves but it was helpful to have an idea of what we would like to see.  Another big thing was since we are considering a fall or off season wedding, we wanted to make sure we saw places that were climate controlled.  We also wanted to have the ceremony and reception in the same place.

Combined with all that in mind, initial research, tentative budget planning, and suggestions from friends and family, we came up with Venue Warped Tour April 2016 (so far) :

The North House – Avon, CT

Stony Creek Brewery  – Branford, CT

The Packing House at the Mill Works – Willington, CT

The Pond House Café  – West Hartford, CT

Mill 1 at Open Square–  Holyoke, MA

Harbor House  –  Mystic, CT

Latitude 41  – Mystic, CT

Wood Acres Farm –  Terryville, CT

The Mansion at Harkness State Park  – Waterford, CT *a Cody find!

I don’t know how many places people typically look at before they find the right venue but it feels like a lot. I’ve already texted Rachel in a panic a few times.  I’m hoping we can find our venue somewhere in this list.

The North House. 

One of the few “ very much a wedding” venues we have on our list. I wanted to see a range within our venue search to get a good idea of what is available and looking back it was helpful for both Cody and I to see an “all in one” venue. I feel a little bit silly because the pictures I loved are actually of their old wedding venue which they turned into a restaurant that is attached to The North House. I think they said it was an old blacksmith shop. It’s still available for rent but it comes with a host of restrictions that make it now better suited for a rehearsal dinner than the type of party we want. 

It is a historic venue site that can accommodate 150-200 guests which works perfect for our estimated guest count of 150.  Catering is in-house and the menu looks delicious.  They have options for plated or buffet style dinner, which includes open bar, cocktail hour hors D’oeuvres, coffee, tea, soft drinks and dessert. A custom wedding cake can be made but carries an additional fee. For a 5.5 hour event, prices range from $75-$105 per person depending on the day of the week plus tax and 18% gratuity. It includes the ballroom, outside patio access, an on-site coordinator, chairs, tables, tablecloths and napkins, hurricane candle centerpieces,  and complimentary cake cutting.  

What We Liked: hotel right across the street, bar open in restaurant for after party, plenty parking, bridal suite we have access to all day, one wedding a day, on-site coordinator, very little we would have to worry about day of.

What We Didn’t Like: It’s a blahblah ballroom no matter how I dress it up.  It also seems difficult to customize.  The various fees to customize. The ceremony fee alone is $500.  The plan for a ceremony during inclement weather was also not something I would be happy with since it happens in the ballroom.  It is also close to the road and the noise was something we picked up on immediately.

Stony Creek Brewery 

Who knew you could have a wedding at a brewery! I liked this venue. A lot. It overlooks the Branford River and its super modern. Weddings are held in the “celebration room” which is an open but private space which includes it’s own bar, restrooms and deck on the second floor of the brewery. The celebration room also overlooks the brewing room that acts as an inclement weather ceremony and photo spot. It’s $4000 for a 4-hour reception, $1000 for each additional hour.  The booze is obviously in-house and for open bar beer & wine, its $30 per person plus 18% gratuity.    Rental fee includes bartenders, tables, chairs, and table clothes.

What We Liked: It’s really cool venue. The atmosphere is fun. Our guests would not only be able to access our private space but also check out the main floor and outside area where the brewery has lawn games and fire pits. Totally up our alley. They had list of seven preferred caterers and allow you to bring your own caterer for a fee.

What We Didn’t Like: It’s not private. We could hear the music playing in the main bar up in the celebration room, and even though they said our music would be louder, we realized big time that privacy was something that was important to us. I don’t love the idea of hearing a kid screaming or someone hosting a bachelor party downstairs during our wedding. It also seemed a bit small for the size of our wedding. To accommodate a dance floor, we were told tables and chairs would be removed after dinner. The ceremony can only be held in the brewery if it’s bad weather. Otherwise our only option is the deck that can only seat about 120 people.  And there is no bridal suite area. (Cody calls it a “prep” room).  They hold you in a conference room before the ceremony.

The Packing House at The Mill Works

I wanted to love this place, I really did. Tom, the owner, is a super friendly guy. We could tell he is passionate about the space and there is an incredible amount of integrity in how he talks about his plans for the future for the venue.  It is an old cotton thread factory that dates back to 1870. There are multiple spaces available for events but the main space and where the reception would be is The Packing House. It has a lot of what we love – high ceilings, wood interior, and brick walls.  Tom couldn’t give us a price point but emphasized flexibility.  He basically told us as long as we clean up, we could do whatever we want with the space for décor.

What We Loved: The uniqueness and the history behind the space. Tom gave us a tour and a history lesson which Cody and I enjoyed. We also loved the flexibility of space, rentals, and pricing. Ceremony and reception could be done on-site. The outside space by the water was stunning!

What We Didn’t Like: Overall, I think this is going to be a hot spot for wedding venues in a few years. They have not done a wedding yet and I think there is a lot to fine tune.  I think it is an awesome space for what they have going now (performances, live music, presentations, creative events) and I would be excited to see what becomes of the space in 5-6 years. It’s doesn’t seem like it will be ready for when we are planning to be married.

That’s it for round one. No winners yet. We have 4 planned for this week.  Cue the stress. We are starting to really figure out what we like and what we don’t, what is a ‘must have’ and what we can live with. 

How many venues did you go see before you found "the one"?

xoxo

Read the rest of "The Blair Wife Project" here!
-Meet C&C